Omen of the end of the world in video games

The last year has come! I feel it in water, I feel it in the ground, and it does not smell very nice in the air. Signs are everywhere! The players, gray-haired with horror, saw the three horsemen of the apocalypse back in 2011, and now they get drunk, knowing that tomorrow it may not beired. In the middle of their illegible phrases, you can make out three names, three events, three final points. Plant … But first let’s see why we should be afraid of 2012.

The first horseman rode over the gaming shelves with the power of a thousand Gorgon and the fury of Dzhigurda. The name is Dragon Age 2. In January last year, no one could even imagine that the BioWare studio, one of the best creators of RPG in the world, and, perhaps, the best creators of the RPG party, will create such a miserable role-playing game that European-Russian developers will sharply rise in their status.

The curve of an empty world, repeated locations, wretched dialogs, a miserable semblance of a plot, the most interesting elements of which are sold only as DLC, respond with worthless enemies, dull animation, lack of tactics, a lot of harassment from men to men, lack of ending, a gray hero, on which the plot does not depend at all. No wonder to cut down the cream was made for less than a year, as a result, destroying all the good impressions of the world that BioWare created for more than five years.

Confusion and horror froze on the faces of Gamesnotongamstop.co.uk the players, and they laid their mice and gamepads, and threw the discs into the windows, and burned the consoles and pcs God -free to cleanse their house Dragon Age 2, but could not, because the second rider was approaching.

Even the developers themselves did not believe in the parish of this game. But the producer, having seen the final of the development, was horrified, because the release of the game could destroy the foundations of the universe. By releasing the game, he would deprive the players of faith in its exit. After depriving faith, he would condemn the players to the fall, so he dismissed the whole team and threw out an almost finished game into the sewer. But “evil will always find the way” ©

Gearbox Software Masters, bathing in the Moscow River, accidentally found a disc with the Duke Nukem Forever code among broken bottles and cigarette butts. “Hey, we are a master, we can finish the game!”Exclaimed the main programmer and the clouds came together above his head. A year has passed and the game came out. 15 years have passed since the development. Despite the fact that the game turned out to be good, the players lost faith, the era of lawlessness, immorality and greed began. The second rider rushed, leaving behind only devastation and poverty, but now, on the campaign appeared the third.

The third rider was a man, his name was John Karmak. Having concluded a deal with the devil, Karmak sold his soul to the consoles, breaking millions of hearts around the world. Once he was a holy apostle that he promoted advanced technologies on a PC, creating several greatest PC hits, but for 30 silverniks, flattered to the sales of phenomenal ones, turned into a fan of plasma screens and burning boxes.

The console workers received Rage stupid and wretched, and Rage PKShniki is glow and curve. There was no bounds of hatred of both camps, Karmak only grinned in response to him and hid his horns under a gilded cap. “Why are you so with us?” – the players cried. Karmak answered them nothing. He has already seen the fourth horseman on the horizon.

It is unlikely that they will be death from Darksiders 2, but players are preparing for the worst. And while I have time – I congratulate everyone on the new year, I wish you the Dragons of Skyrim, but more. Genesis can they save us ..